Kissing the Sword that kills you

"Do you understand that one can kill oneself from a certain kind of ecstasy? But I didn't stab myself, I only kissed the sword and put it back in the scabbard -- which detail, by the way, I needn't have mentioned. And it even seems that while I was telling about all these agonies just now, I must have been filling them out a little, to praise myself. But let it be, let it be so, and to hell with all spies into the human heart! That's the whole of my past 'incident' with Katerina Ivanovna." - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, pg.115